Sometimes I wonder what it takes to make someone stop care about you.
I mean, if it's someone you're in to, and you know (because of his friends) his in to you too, even though you haven't known each other for a very long time, what does it take to make him stop caring about you? Because I did it, and i have no clue about what I did.
He's been ignoring me for a couple of weeks and it hurts so bad, especially when it's so easy to see he's over me, but I just can't stop thinking of him. Anyone who knows the feeling? Anyone who can tell me what to do?
Why is it that we can't control our hearts? I don't want to have feelings for him, but my heart wont let go. I'm broken, and disappointed..
I was bored and I wanted to write a song, but please.. Harry Potter - inspiration much? Naah.. So I took a towel and some cards, but that went out really ugly so I took a picture from a magazine instead. It looks better IRL, and I kinda like it.. I think.
I'm just happy to finally have made something with that stupid pencil. But still, I don't think it's fun anymore. I paint just to paint, but I have to make myself do it, it's not like before when I wanted to paint all the time.. It made me happy, but that doesn't work anymore, sadly.
"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way that you used.
Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household name that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, Somewhere very near, Just round the corner.
All is well."
A poem by Harry Scott Holland. I found it on my grandmothers wall,on a picture of my grandfather.. Soon it'll be two years since he passed away, but I can't stop crying when I think of him.. I don't know how long it will take for me before I can say his name and smile as I think of all of our memories but I just can't right now. Two years.. That's a long time for healing, especially since we weren't THAT close, but I miss him so much and I still can't believe I will never meet him again, I will never again see his face, or hear his stupid jokes that makes no sense.. He won't invite us for dinner at fancy restaurants and we wont take the boat over the sea to DK to buy ice-cream and sausage.. And he bought bear of course, haha..
I'm crying as I'm writing, I'm thinking of the last time I saw him, he was lying in his bed, now it was downstairs, before it had been upstairs, and he wasn't awake.. Everyone knew he was going to die soon and he looked almost gray.. I feel so guilty because I never said good bye to him, I just weren't prepared, I had no idea he was that sick, it all happen so fast and nobody had told me, I was chocked.. I couldn't face the truth, so when I heard my father speak to him when I was in another room I didn't go in. I heard my father say that me and my brothers were there too, but I pretended I didn't.. When I felt ready he had fallen asleep again, and we had to go home, next day in the morning we got a call from my oncles wife, he was dead... One amazing thing had happen though.. Right over his bed there were an old clock, he had gotten it from his father or grandfather, and it stopped almost the same moment as he died.. Maybe not amazing, or.. well, yes, I think it's amazing.
Grandfather, I know you can't read this, but I'm positive you can hear my thoughts, and even though I' thinking in English I'm sure you understand. I love you so much and you have no idea how much I miss you. You have no idea about the pain I feel when someone talks about you.. I can't get over it, I know you would have wanted me to be happy, think of you with happiness, but I can only find sorrow.. I wish I had a chance to say goodbye...<3
All of my friends thinks the real Pippi Långstrump (Pippi Longstocking, I guess you know about her..?) is the best, but i LOVE the cartoon, when I was a kid I always watched the cartoon, and never the "real" (I don't know what to call it..? non-cartoon?) because I love cartoons, and I love the cartoon-Pippi. She gives me memories as the real one can't give because I have none to her.. I can't describe how much I love Pippi Långstrump though.. I have to watch it now! (swedish)
When I woke up the first thing I could hear was birds singing, and since my bed is underneath my window I just looked up and saw what you can see on the picture. My first thought were "Summer..?" But no, then I remembered that we haven't had this much snow in years so I have to wait for a long time until it's summer again..
Feels like I only blog about school, funny much?! Haha. And guess what -I'm not done yet. Since I was really sick today mom says I have to stay home tomorrow. I understand why, I do.. But aahw, I have so much to do! But I have the most important things at home so I guess I'll be OK anyway.. The thing that bothers me the most is that I think ***** (annoying person I told you about before) will think I stay home because of him, dammit... IDON'T! I don't give a damn about that shitty person, but I do give a damn about my studies, so.. Well, well.
I really want to change my design here, but I don't feel too well (damn I can't miss even more school..) I miss being thin. My jeans were sooooo perfect...
I'm in a really bad mood right now, there's a guy in my class who I can't stand at all, he's supposed to be 15, almost 16, but he looks like a baby (really, he's chubby and he has a crew cut), and he acts like one too. He's got no respect and he thinks he can do whatever he wants to with no consequences. I don't know why but he makes fun of me all the time and he's so damn annoying, I know "hate" is a strong word, but it's not strong enough. I will sound so cold, but really, I wouldn't care if he died, seriously. (You have no idea what he's like) I'm freaking happy that I won't see him anymore after I'm done with school.. But anyways, I'm sick, so when I was waiting for the bus he started to throw snowballs at me he pissed me off, I told him to stop and he laughed me in my face and continued, and i got so mad so i yelled at him and well, he thought that was hilarious. Also he's friends were against me and laughed, but I don't care so much about that, what actually hurt was that my friends stood by, they saw everything but they didn't care at all. People I thought had my back just watched me stand there, almost crying of frustration and my stomach hurt so much I couldn't even think clearly.. Then I guess I'm standing alone, because when it really matters I have no one.
Good morning everyone! Right now it's frickin' early and soon I have to go to the bus.
I thought of one thing yesterday before I fell asleep, we wake up so early in the morning because we "have to" put on make up, fix the hair and so on, but why the hell do we do that? Why is it so important to us how other people see us? And at school? Oh my god, you have your friends at school! They don't care at all. Because of my cat I woke up at 5:00 a.m (duh) so I thought, well OK, then I have some time to make myself ready for school.. But really, isn't it the studies we should focus on? We shouldn't be distracted by such unnecessary things. But still I can't go to school without make up et.c.. Or I CAN, but I really don't feel comfortable doing it. I guess it's because of my low self-confidence.. I have to look in to the mirror all the time, just to check my hair, just to check my lips.. I never like what I see, but at least my make up manages to cover my insecurity, but that makes me scared. It shouldn't be like that.. Why should we be scared to show our true faces? We are all humans, we have our flaws, and I'm sure we would be accepted even without that mask.
ANYWAYS, I'm just thinking, ^_^ Someone who agrees?Kisses.
I'm listening to Oasis - Don't look back in anger, i love that song!♥
Right now I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow, because I missed today so I will have to work soooo hard, and guess what? I'm not good at working hard at school... We have the nationals in swedish next week, both oral and writing, and my classmates have already discussed the text and so on, I have only read it once! I'm not prepared, omg.. I CAN'T MESS IT UP! Damn, I'm frickin' scared, haha!
Sometimes I wonder what it takes to make someone stop care about you.
I mean, if it's someone you're in to, and you know (because of his friends) his in to you too, even though you haven't known each other for a very long time, what does it take to make him stop caring about you? Because I did it, and i have no clue about what I did.
He's been ignoring me for a couple of weeks and it hurts so bad, especially when it's so easy to see he's over me, but I just can't stop thinking of him. Anyone who knows the feeling? Anyone who can tell me what to do?
Why is it that we can't control our hearts? I don't want to have feelings for him, but my heart wont let go. I'm broken, and disappointed..
I was bored and I wanted to write a song, but please.. Harry Potter - inspiration much? Naah.. So I took a towel and some cards, but that went out really ugly so I took a picture from a magazine instead. It looks better IRL, and I kinda like it.. I think.
I'm just happy to finally have made something with that stupid pencil. But still, I don't think it's fun anymore. I paint just to paint, but I have to make myself do it, it's not like before when I wanted to paint all the time.. It made me happy, but that doesn't work anymore, sadly.
"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way that you used.
Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household name that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, Somewhere very near, Just round the corner.
All is well."
A poem by Harry Scott Holland. I found it on my grandmothers wall,on a picture of my grandfather.. Soon it'll be two years since he passed away, but I can't stop crying when I think of him.. I don't know how long it will take for me before I can say his name and smile as I think of all of our memories but I just can't right now. Two years.. That's a long time for healing, especially since we weren't THAT close, but I miss him so much and I still can't believe I will never meet him again, I will never again see his face, or hear his stupid jokes that makes no sense.. He won't invite us for dinner at fancy restaurants and we wont take the boat over the sea to DK to buy ice-cream and sausage.. And he bought bear of course, haha..
I'm crying as I'm writing, I'm thinking of the last time I saw him, he was lying in his bed, now it was downstairs, before it had been upstairs, and he wasn't awake.. Everyone knew he was going to die soon and he looked almost gray.. I feel so guilty because I never said good bye to him, I just weren't prepared, I had no idea he was that sick, it all happen so fast and nobody had told me, I was chocked.. I couldn't face the truth, so when I heard my father speak to him when I was in another room I didn't go in. I heard my father say that me and my brothers were there too, but I pretended I didn't.. When I felt ready he had fallen asleep again, and we had to go home, next day in the morning we got a call from my oncles wife, he was dead... One amazing thing had happen though.. Right over his bed there were an old clock, he had gotten it from his father or grandfather, and it stopped almost the same moment as he died.. Maybe not amazing, or.. well, yes, I think it's amazing.
Grandfather, I know you can't read this, but I'm positive you can hear my thoughts, and even though I' thinking in English I'm sure you understand. I love you so much and you have no idea how much I miss you. You have no idea about the pain I feel when someone talks about you.. I can't get over it, I know you would have wanted me to be happy, think of you with happiness, but I can only find sorrow.. I wish I had a chance to say goodbye...<3
All of my friends thinks the real Pippi Långstrump (Pippi Longstocking, I guess you know about her..?) is the best, but i LOVE the cartoon, when I was a kid I always watched the cartoon, and never the "real" (I don't know what to call it..? non-cartoon?) because I love cartoons, and I love the cartoon-Pippi. She gives me memories as the real one can't give because I have none to her.. I can't describe how much I love Pippi Långstrump though.. I have to watch it now! (swedish)
When I woke up the first thing I could hear was birds singing, and since my bed is underneath my window I just looked up and saw what you can see on the picture. My first thought were "Summer..?" But no, then I remembered that we haven't had this much snow in years so I have to wait for a long time until it's summer again..
Feels like I only blog about school, funny much?! Haha. And guess what -I'm not done yet. Since I was really sick today mom says I have to stay home tomorrow. I understand why, I do.. But aahw, I have so much to do! But I have the most important things at home so I guess I'll be OK anyway.. The thing that bothers me the most is that I think ***** (annoying person I told you about before) will think I stay home because of him, dammit... IDON'T! I don't give a damn about that shitty person, but I do give a damn about my studies, so.. Well, well.
I really want to change my design here, but I don't feel too well (damn I can't miss even more school..) I miss being thin. My jeans were sooooo perfect...
I'm in a really bad mood right now, there's a guy in my class who I can't stand at all, he's supposed to be 15, almost 16, but he looks like a baby (really, he's chubby and he has a crew cut), and he acts like one too. He's got no respect and he thinks he can do whatever he wants to with no consequences. I don't know why but he makes fun of me all the time and he's so damn annoying, I know "hate" is a strong word, but it's not strong enough. I will sound so cold, but really, I wouldn't care if he died, seriously. (You have no idea what he's like) I'm freaking happy that I won't see him anymore after I'm done with school.. But anyways, I'm sick, so when I was waiting for the bus he started to throw snowballs at me he pissed me off, I told him to stop and he laughed me in my face and continued, and i got so mad so i yelled at him and well, he thought that was hilarious. Also he's friends were against me and laughed, but I don't care so much about that, what actually hurt was that my friends stood by, they saw everything but they didn't care at all. People I thought had my back just watched me stand there, almost crying of frustration and my stomach hurt so much I couldn't even think clearly.. Then I guess I'm standing alone, because when it really matters I have no one.
Good morning everyone! Right now it's frickin' early and soon I have to go to the bus.
I thought of one thing yesterday before I fell asleep, we wake up so early in the morning because we "have to" put on make up, fix the hair and so on, but why the hell do we do that? Why is it so important to us how other people see us? And at school? Oh my god, you have your friends at school! They don't care at all. Because of my cat I woke up at 5:00 a.m (duh) so I thought, well OK, then I have some time to make myself ready for school.. But really, isn't it the studies we should focus on? We shouldn't be distracted by such unnecessary things. But still I can't go to school without make up et.c.. Or I CAN, but I really don't feel comfortable doing it. I guess it's because of my low self-confidence.. I have to look in to the mirror all the time, just to check my hair, just to check my lips.. I never like what I see, but at least my make up manages to cover my insecurity, but that makes me scared. It shouldn't be like that.. Why should we be scared to show our true faces? We are all humans, we have our flaws, and I'm sure we would be accepted even without that mask.
ANYWAYS, I'm just thinking, ^_^ Someone who agrees?Kisses.
I'm listening to Oasis - Don't look back in anger, i love that song!♥
Right now I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow, because I missed today so I will have to work soooo hard, and guess what? I'm not good at working hard at school... We have the nationals in swedish next week, both oral and writing, and my classmates have already discussed the text and so on, I have only read it once! I'm not prepared, omg.. I CAN'T MESS IT UP! Damn, I'm frickin' scared, haha!
Fear me! (?) cause i'm a real monster :D
My name is_____________ and i'm __ years old :D.
I like ______________
I Hate ______________
My favorite things are______________
Etc!
My Wishlist*~
Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!! Somewhere over the Rainbow!!
Fear me! (?) cause i'm a real monster :D
Somewhere over the Rainbow!! 
